it just doesn't get much better

(ozzy is miraculously on the right of all these photos)

twin talk

we get a lot of attention when we go out. it's inevitable, the twin thing and all. what surprises me though is how much of that attention comes from other twins/parents of twins/etc. every time, and i mean EVERY TIME, we go out, we meet another twin or twin parent. and they are always so excited to introduce themselves and meet the boys. yesterday at whole foods i met three other twins - a 20-something fraternal brother all punked out, a 40-something balding identical, and a classy fraternal woman in her 50s. i get hugs from perfect twin strangers almost weekly. it's almost some freaky clan or subculture that you don't know about until you unknowingly become one. i love it. and i can't say it enough, it beats the moron non-twins that can only say inane things like "double trouble" when you walk past.

here are some twin tidbits about the boys so far:

- they hold hands when they nurse (sometimes more aggressively than others)
- they stare, and i mean stare, at each other
- they sleep in the same crib (which is getting smaller and smaller)
- they never dress the same
- sometimes we confuse them, even though they are fraternal
- it's rare that they cry at the same time. when one freaks out, the other is usually dead calm and will do something hilarious like start laughing or wink at me
- they almost never wake each other up when one is crying, flailing about, etc.
- they kick eachother in the head/face/body all the time when on the play mat and could care less

mirror face

one of the boys' favorite thing to do is have mommy and daddy play with them in the mirror. we can spend hours looking at our reflections, singing songs, kissing the boys' heads, laughing and other general merriment. the boys are always looking at us in the mirror - we can't wait until they recognize themselves and eachother!

ozzy on his tummy-tum-tum

three month turn

we can't believe the boys turned three months old last friday. i never quite understood the cliche, "how time flies" until we had these boys. it has truly been a glorious whirlwind and i can't wait for the next 3 months.

the boys are now 10 lbs. we had a bit of growing "pains" over the past month where ozzy put on very little weight. we have it under control now and he's back on track. two weeks ago, abel had him beat by 6 oz. now, he's upped abel by an once. i have a feeling this is only the beginning of many competitions between the two!

feeding has been our biggest challenge to date. i'm nursing them still, but they're just not getting/taking in enough. so we're supplementing a few times a day with either pumped milk or formula, depending on what we have on hand. i've made it my goal to breastfeed these guys until 6 months, and after that, all bets are off. i feel very ambivalent to breastfeeding these days. sometimes i love it and i feel an incredible intimacy with them during. other times i just don't think i can do it anymore.

sleeping is where most babies/parents struggle, but this is one department where the boys really shine. they've been sleeping 5-6 hour stretches since they were 8 weeks old and it just keeps getting better and better. they switch off who can sleep the longest, many times going for 7 hours!!! we struggled with when to stop swaddeling them, and finally kicked it about a week ago. the first two nights were tough, and thank god we had my best friend and her boyfriend in town, as they helped out tremendously. the boys just didn't know what to do with their arms, after sleeping the past 3 months with them burrito-ized. they would flail about doing crazy kung fu arm thrusts and wake themselves up every few minutes. by the third night, though, they were used to it and back to sleeping like champs. now they snooze in sweet little sleep sacks, which keep them cozy warm without the risk of a blanket. we just now instituted a bedtime ritual consisting of a bath, massage, a few books (which they usually sleep through), and then a bottle of either breast milk or formula. they usually zonk out before we even feed them (typically around 9pm), so we are going to move up their bedtime to an earlier hour and hopefully it will all make more sense. it's funny doing this whole routine that is intented to get a baby to fall asleep with two babies who crash out right after the bath!

the boys are also great companions to go out with. we try and get out every day, either to run errands or visit friends, or just to go for a walk. we also take them out to eat with us all the time. j and i enjoyed a lovely dinner at the south congress cafe on friday night and the boys just snoozed away next to us in the booth. we are also part of a new moms/babies class every friday morning. there are about 7 moms and babies and we sing songs, swap stories and talk about the joys and challenges of being a new mom. i love being part of this group and it makes it so much easier to soothe a fussy baby (or two!) when you are with a community of other moms and babies. i just don't understand why we have this culture of "doing it alone" here in the states.

the boys are doing all the typical 3 mo. stuff like clasping their hands, grapping-swatting-smiling at their toys, drooling a lot, putting things in their mouths, making lots of noises, laughing and smiling at every thing, etc. they're also doing some atypical stuff like consistently rolling over from tummy to back, mastering a pretty mean cobra and upward dog, wiggling their way arcoss the mat on their bellies, and being able to do awesome leg squats. these boys continue to be the scrappiest boys around.

the many faces of abel

milk coma

oh so content...here is how/where we hang out a good part of each day!

blessing of grandparents

i've been wanting to write this post for a very long time but time has escaped me. now that i have one of my rascals sleeping in the sling as i type, and the other cozy in his bouncy seat, we'll give it a go.

the boys are especially blessed because they have incredibly wonderful, generous and loving grandparents. j and i are blessed even more. we couldn't have handled the past 9 weeks without the support of grandma lee-lee, grosspapa, nanna nan, and recently grandpa mickey.

my mom and dad (lee-lee and papa) hopped on a plane from chicago to austin the morning i gave birth - talk about excited new grandparents! they made sure jordan and i were fed, cleaned the house, walked matilda, doted on ozzy and abel, took on late night feedings, sterilized countless bottles and nipples, ran to babies-r-us for all the things we desparately needed but didn't know about ahead of time, etc. my dad flew the coop after 10 days but mom stayed a full month to help. my mom was my partner by day in feeding and caring for the boys. i will forever be grateful for the month that she gave to us. i was in a crazy state for the first two weeks after giving birth, physically and emotionally, and she was a wonderful stablizing factor for us all. it brought me an incredible joy to see the boys peacefully sleeping on my mom's chest - a joy that you can only realize once you become a mother yourself. and witnessing how gentle and careful my dad was while holding them, their tiny heads cupped in his slender, artists hands...gosh, it brings tears to my eyes bringing back the memories.




the first month passed faster than i could imagine and it was nanna nan's turn to meet her grandsons. j's mom is a bundle of energy but i think we caught her off guard with the business of our household. a notorious bad sleeper, she zonked out for a full 8 hours the second night she was here! nanna was full of songs and nursery rhymes for the boys, and cooked delicous soups and meals for us all. she was a zealous multi-tasker and would manage to clean the house, cook dinner, rock the boys and do laundry all at the same time! my mother-in-law is an incredible woman and i am so lucky to have her in my life. she brought us unconditional love and laughter at a time when the boys went through a major transition and growth spurt. and i got a glimpse at how much fun the boys will have with their nanna as they get older. we were all crying when she left...the next day i was on my own from 8 to 5.




j's dad, grandpa mickey (mark), met his grandsons just a few weeks ago. i didn't know mark that well before this visit, so i didn't know what to expect. he was so hands-on with the boys from the get-go, holding and cuddling them, singing them songs in his deep baritone, burping them, taking them for walks and basically doing anything we asked. it was so wonderful having him in our home and i relished in seeing how much joy jordan found in watching his dad with our sons.





we are ever so grateful for our parents - for the role models they are for unconditional love, kindness and generosity of spirit. we love you!

love this invention

i splurged and bought a sling today. it's absolutely brilliant and oh-so-fashionable! the boys can be snug as a bug in here and i can be hands free. i'm wearing abel as i type this and he's snoozing away.

the one i bought is from zolo wear and made from a solarveil fabric which protects my fair lads from the sun's rays and is very lightweight and breathable for the hot texas summers. check out this great austin company at: www.zolowear.com

smiles galore!

the boys are having a grand time learning their environment and imitating mom and dad, which means they are smiling lots and lots!

here's ozzy



and our sweet abel



life doesn't get much better then this!

7 weeks old

i can't believe the boys have turned 7 weeks old. they've grown like weeds. they've swapped personalities. they've turned our lives upside down, in a good way. every time we think we know something about them, they change it up on us just to keep us on our toes. gone are the days when these boys just slept and ate!

here are some things that are for sure, though (or at least i think they are): both our boys are incredibly physical. let's just say active is an understatement. and they are active in the scrappy sort of way. they both are holding up their heads almost completely. they both can push from a squat to a standing position when they have your shoulder for support (they do this when we are burping them). they both can lift their heads, shoulders and chest when on their tummies. they are awesome in their car seats and go for errands and appointments with ease. they also hate it when we put them to sleep. they want to be up and part of the action, despite how tired they actually are. good thing their parents know better and enforce nap time pretty strickly. their wake up routines are hilarious and they make some of the most outrageous faces and stretches on earth, which i hope they never outgrow. they also both take after their father, for better and for worse, and are now on zantac for acid reflux. apparantly heartburn runs in the family.

abel jacob

our sweet lil' abel jacob is not so little anymore and is quickly catching up with his brother. he weighed 7lb 11oz last tuesday and is consistently gaining over an once a day. he smiled for the first time yesterday, st. patty's day. he loves having zerberts blown on his tummy and his cheeks tickled. he also is a big fan of the foot massage. he's still a talker and is cooing and yelping more and more every day. he is the ultimate snuggle bunny and really doesn't like being put down (who would!). mom and dad have resorted to wearing the bjorn around the house with him because the swing, the bouncy seat, his crib and the boppy just won't do. he is also a kung fu master, particularly the praying mantis variety, and practices after every feeding. while he doesn't love tummy time and often gets frustrated, he almost crawled the other day (i know parents exaggerate, but i'm not making this up). he was grunting so hard while he was trying, i actually thought he was going to will himself across the mat!

oskar herse

oz man finally busted through the 8 lb mark last weigh-in (8lb 1oz)! he's still a trooper when it comes to less than delightful doctor's visits, etc. and makes everyone believe he is the mellowest baby on earth. little do they know... oskar is very vocal when it comes to his needs. he doesn't just fuss to let you know he wants something - he bursts out in an immediate lip-quivering wail. but he's pretty easy to calm and also to put to sleep, especially in his swing and even in his crib. he loves baths. he's a voracious eater and resembles a barracuda when going in for the boob. taking after his father again, he's losing most of his hair. but you can see very blonde fuzz growing in its place. ozzy has an amazing gymnastics talent already. when jordan swings him up in the air, he can hold his body completely horizontal, straight as a board, for ten seconds! in gymnastics, we call this a planche. you can also call it a superman. his strength even impressed the lactation specialist, who at our last consult proclaimed, "you better get this boy in gymnastics as soon as possible, he's got such strong legs!" when content, oz moves his arms around like he's conducting a symphony or singing an aria. he also has an incredible grip and has grabbed onto things like the leg of the stuffed animal giraffe on his activity mat and won't let go (and does this as i'm lifting him out resulting in the mat getting dragged across the room).

someone said caring for a young baby is kind of like living in the movie "groundhog day." our reality is far from that. every day is a unique adventure we wouldn't miss for the world.

good enough to eat

Add caption

boobie monologues

i had this idealistic notion about breastfeeding while i was pregnant. i thought it would be this serene, beautiful, as-nature-intended action. and while nursing two would add a second dimension to it, what would stop me from tandem nursing?

the reality of breastfeeding, for me, has been a shot in the arm. albeit i sit here today, at 5.5 weeks post silverboys birthday, able to tandem nurse at every feeding and provide the boys mom's milk exclusively. but i'll tell you this, it hasn't been a walk in the park.

because the boys were technically born as preemies just shy of 36 weeks, they lacked the strong sucking motion of a full-term babe. they could still nurse, and did from day 1, they just weren't stimulating my milk to come in. so i pumped. and pumped. 8-10 times a day to replicate what a strong nursing baby would feel like. but no milk came in. after 7 days of no milk, i started getting desperate thinking i wouldn't be able to breastfeed the boys. it was a rollercoaster i care not to repeat. i talked to lactation specialists, our doula, and wonderful friends who assured me life would go on and our boys would be perfectly healthy if we had to formula feed them. of course, all the books you read say that any normally functioning woman can produce enough milk for their babies. i have grown to be disenchanted with this kind of dogma. i started to feel like a failure.

it wasn't until the boys 2 week birthday that my milk came in. i don't know what did it - maybe all the herbal lactation tinctures and teas? all the pumping? nursing the boys even though they were barely getting anything (and trust me, they were frustrated to suck on a boob with no gratification!)? whatever it was, my prayers were answered.

since then, it's been a journey to teach the boys to be better nursers. with the help of silicone nipple shields, it's become a lot easier. at our last lactation appt. we discovered i had a fast "let down," which means when the boys start sucking, the milk comes out really fast at first. i went from no milk, to too much milk, and it was overwhelming to the boys. the shields help them control how much milk they take in, similar to a bottle nipple. last week we achieved tandem nursing (both of them "on" at the same time), and we are now starting to ween them off their supplemental bottle (they've been each getting about an once of pumped milk as part of their feed). i'm also weening myself from this foresaken pump, as i've been cleared to transition to pumping every other feeding (down from EVERY feed!). in some ways, it feels like i'm going through a separation and divorce! of course, weening the boys from their supplement means possibly more nursing sessions per day, but i'm willing to give it a try.

along the way i've experienced lots of tenderness, plugged ducts, tons of frustration and heart ache, but ultimate success. it hasn't been easy, i've felt like quitting, but i'm really pround of myself and boys for sticking with it. i've also learned that what i experienced isn't the most uncommon thing in the world, especially for preemie babies. thanks to the amazing support of our hospital's lactation department, where i've received FREE consultations (as many as i need/want), and the support of my family and friends, i've been able to do this. i've also realized that while it's awesome to be able to nurse our boys and give them this nutrition, it's not the end-all-be-all that some folks make it out to be. you ultimately need to do what works for you and your family.

p.s. i was pumping the whole time i wrote this thanks to my porno tube top (aka hands-free pumping bra)!

hangin' in our radio flyer

the mohrlein-anderberg clan got the boys the ultimate lil' boys accessory! we can't wait to wheel them around in their wagon, especially in the 4th of july parade...hooray!

abel in grey; oz in white

a

too much love

it's hard to imagine life without these guys. we stare at them for hours, kiss them more times in a day then we've ever kissed anything our entire lives, and take in their smell as if it were our last breath. my mother-in-law says they're delicious. i agree - i want to gobble them up every day!

ozzy's sensitive-man portrait

ozzy showing off his double chin and receding hair line (left) and aj plotting to take over the world

aj in surprise and delight

sweet sleep

now that the boys are one month old and have broken the 6 and 7 lb mark (abel weighed in at 6lb 8oz and oz is 7lb 2oz), our doc gave us the go-ahead to let them sleep longer stretches at night. up 'til now, we have been following a 3-hour feeding schedule, even at night. you can imagine how hard it's been to force everyone to get up at midnight, 3am and 6am when we all need our beauty sleep! last night the boys slept a 4 and 4.5 hour stretch, which translated into wonderful stretches of sweet dreams for us all.

it was glorious!!! i never imagined how much i would treasure 4 hours of snooze.

both j and i have suffered from moments of delerium during the 3-hour night schedule, including thinking we have already fed and diapered the boys when they are still fast asleep, as well as j thinking he has been snuggling with one of the boys when they are cozy in their co-sleeper. we had no delerious moments last night, so hopefully we have experienced the last of them.

fool me three times?!?!

we all know the old cliche, "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." well i'd like a revision. i've been fooled three times with our lil' abel. yes, we're talking pee here. and yes, we're talking three times being sprayed in the same diaper change. i didn't think it was possible, but clearly this boy has reserves! it hit my forehead, my glasses, my chest, the changing station, the dresser, and when i looked up, the window and the blinds! i'm sure all moms with little boys have their pee stories. but this one left me laughing hysterically in a fit of disbelief and my own gaul at thinking i could outwit multiple streams.

on another note, ozzy and aj are now over three weeks and we are ridiculously proud at how well they are growing. yesterday ozzy weighed in at 6lb 9oz and last friday abel was at 5lb 11oz. abel has had a voracious appetite, so i think he's grown quite a bit since then. i can't wait until he breaks the 6lb mark. it's amazing how you can get so excited about something as small as an once!

here are two pics from our photo shoot last week. gotta run...the boys are calling for their 3 pm feeding!

oz on left, abel on right

two weeks old!

the boys turned two weeks old yesterday and we have all settled in to happy family status. it's truly hard to believe that 14 days have passed - it is going WAY too fast!

here we all are after a nice long walk around the neighborhood (yes, it feels amazing to be able to move around like a normal person again!)

oskar hersh

oskar hersh
(aka ozzy, oz-man, tiger, big o, chunky monkey, block head)

loves: stretching, playing footsie and touch down with his arms, making kissy faces, getting kisses from matilda, manicures

hates: bath-time (mom is not giving up hope)

notes: by his two-week birthday, ozzy regained his birth weight of 5lb 7 oz and then some. he now weighs 5lb 9oz and his head grew a whopping centimeter (j is one proud papa). oz has a really strong neck and can already hold his head up for extended periods of time (which is a good thing, thanks to that huge head of his!). he's a very mellow guy and just likes to hang out and go with the flow. he didn't even cry during his heel prick at the doc's office. he sleeps great and rarely fusses, except while getting a bath. i'm not surprised given the fact that everytime i took a bath while pregnant, ozzy was a wild man!

abel jacob

abel jacob
(aka a.j., a.b., squawk box, abel j, feist bucket)

loves: bath-time, making kissy faces, massages, the swing, eating, the soothie, being read too, walks in the bjorn

hates: being changed (especially the poopy variety), being woken up (who doesn't!)

notes: by his two-week birthday, abel stunned us all with his growth. he weighed in at 5lb 1 oz, up from his birth weight of 4lb 13oz. clearly this boy loves to eat! even though abel was mellow in the womb, he's definitely a rambunctous one. he's fiesty as all get out when he wakes up but calms down really fast. he's very articulate with his hands and fingers and loves to hold his ears, almost a "hear no evil" pose. he sleeps like a champ. he loves the water and just hangs out in the tub. he also burps like a truck driver! abel loves to talk and will just lay in his crib entertaining himself and his brother with all sorts of sounds.

skin to skin

welcome silverboys!

we are so thrilled and proud to announce the birth of our two boys:

abel jacob (AJ) was born at 3:38am on saturday, january 27, 2007
4lb 13oz and 17.5 inches

oskar (ozzy) hersh was born at 4:48am on saturday, january 27, 2007
5lb 7oz and 19 inches

we were all happily released from the hospital on wednesday afternoon and have been getting the hang of it at home. everything is going amazing! these boys are absolutely wonderful - good sleepers, good eaters and so darn beautiful.

i'm anxious to post more but for now wanted to get the basics up. we are so grateful to all of our amazing family and friends for their love and support during this miracle!

Silverbabies Are Coming!

Hi there, it's not Tracey -- it's Anne. Typing for Tracey who's on the other end of the phone! Here's what she says:

We're all set in the hospital -- the doctor decided to induce. We started pitocin around 2pm this afternoon and should have our Silverbabies with us tonight or early tomorrow morning. Yea!

(Note: Tracey sounds totally calm, and Jordan's getting there.)

sleeping, eating and burping

the life of a newborn, no? well in my case, i think i've regressed to these very basic functions dominating my life. i'm sleeping a lot, at least 10 hours a night, and i wouldn't be surprised if i start adding naps to my daytime routine. i just can't get enough zzz's. hey, i'll take it while i can get it! i'm thinking my body is also storing up energy. and speaking of energy, i'm still able to eat quite a bit. while i definitely feel the boys high up in my ribs and stomach, it hasn't relegated me to super-tiny meals. so i'm trying to give the boys lots of protein in these last few weeks and me lots of good carbs for the marathon that can be labor and delivery. as far as the burping goes, this has been by far my funniest symptom and i've had it the entire pregnancy. i've become a champion belcher and have even achieved the coveted burping-and-talking-simultaneously status that all teenagers strive for. what's even funnier is that, just like a newborn, the action of moving to a vertical status forces them out. so while i'm laying on my side, i'm pretty benign. but watch out when i stand up!

big boys

we had our 35 week ultrasound yesterday and the boys are bigger than we anticipated - a baby is 5lb 12oz an b baby is 5lb 7oz. yipee!!! i can't believe i have over 11 lbs of baby in me, but boy my body sure believes it. i can really feel the weight of these guys in my stomach and my muscles that surround them are super-fatigued when i move/walk around (which isn't much!). also, my belly is stretching so much now that the skin is getting pretty itchy. so i'm lube-ing up with vit. e and cocoa butter more than ever. when i go to the doctor now, everyone says "maybe we'll see you next week." i still have this feeling that we'll reach our 36 week goal, but it's truly starting to sink in that these boys can come any moment now and we are thrilled beyond belief!

almost to 35

on tuesday we hit week 35. it seems so surreal and both jordan and i have this sense of calm about the possibility of labor happening any day now. the boys have their growth ultrasound on tuesday, but i know they are big and strong enough that if they were born today, they'd be just fine. my guess is that they're at least 5 lbs each now! i had my last "twin" appointment at the perinatal group on thursday, and while my cervix is still closed and long, laura noticed it had softened quite a bit. the next morning, i lost my "plug" - essentially a ball of mucusy snot that covers your cervix during pregnancy. labor could still be weeks away when you lose your plug, but still it marks good progression! i then saw dr. love friday afternoon and he seems to think i'll go into labor in the next week or two. my blood pressure is still borderline high, but he's being very calm and non-reactionary about it (thank god!). if it goes up dramatically, or if i have any preeclampsia symptoms (protein in urine, headaches, blurred vision, etc.), we'll need to talk about inducing labor and having these babies. the good news is even if this does happen, it won't affect us having a normal vaginal delivery. i still have some loose ends to tie up at work, so i'm going to try and finish all that today, just in case these boys decide to come this week. i know i'll feel much better heading into week 35 and 36 with nothing hanging over me.

wilson!

i have officially named my belly wilson. remember the volleyball that was tom hanks companion in that weird but oddly captivating movie "cast away?" yes, that's right, my belly has a remarkable resemblance to that character. just the right size and proportion, and decorated very similar. i know this isn't the most pleasant image, but i have some broken blood vessels and yes, finally some stretch marks, that radiate upwards from my ballooned belly button - just like wilson's hair! so while i'm stranded on preggo island, i have my friend wilson to always keep me company and keep me (relatively) sane. and while sometimes when i look in the mirror i'm tempted to hurl my wilson out the window, i know, just like tom hanks, i'd be lost without him.

ice storm 07

our 34 week goal is punctuated by some pretty wicked weather today. freezing temps mixed with any precipitation makes a pretty nasty combination in austin. no one quite knows what to do, except to shut down the city and stay cozy warm at home. and you wouldn't want to venture out because the folks who are out have never driven in winter weather before. so today we are very happy - we have reached a very significant benchmark with the boys and we get to celebrate it by just relaxing and watching it snow and ice outside. what more could two chicagoans living in texas want?!

33 weeks (plus 2 days)

there's an interesting similarity between the first and third trimester where you become an obsessive day counter. early on, the days can't tick by fast enough until your out of the first 12 weeks and in the safety zone. now the days can't tick by fast enough until these boys are out of my belly and into our arms (safety zone again!). 34 weeks is a huge benchmark for us, as the boys will be well-developed and could very safely arrive if they so choose. in fact, once we hit 34 weeks, our doctor wouldn't stop labor if it started! now we also have a personal goal for team silverbabies to get to 36 weeks - jan. 30. this is considered full-term for twins and chances that we'd be able to take the boys home with us are very good.

i see the doctors twice a week now - early in the week is my "twin" appointment at the perinatal group and fridays i see my regular ob. since my blood pressure has been on the high side, i'm getting biophysical profiles of the boys every week. this is very non-invasive and includes monitoring their heartrates for about 15 minutes and then a quick ultrasound to check amniotic levels, breathing, movements, etc. we had our first one last tuesday and the boys passed with flying colors. i think as long as they look healthy and continue to thrive, my doc won't do anything drastic about the blood pressure. of course i LOVED seeing the boys again and they are both head down still (literally "butting heads") with their backs facing my belly. this is the perfect position for delivery, so keep your fingers crossed they're comfy and stay there.

physically i'm uncomfortable but definitely hanging in there. i'm still measuring at 39 weeks and my pubic discomfort has let up a little (or i'm just tolerating the pain more). because of my high blood pressure, i'm laying down a lot. it always drops to normal as soon as i hit horizontal. i feel best in the mornings, so i try and take advantage of this to accomplish most of what i need to be upright for. all in all, i'm doing very good, my spirits are high and i'm so optimistic about finally meeting our lil' guys!

good friends

here's a pic from my shower in austin. i love these ladies!

belly at 32 weeks

we had our 32 week "twin" check up yesterday and i'm now officially measuring at 39 weeks. my belly is almost at full term (but trust me, it feels beyond full term to me)! everything is looking good and the boys hearbeats sounded great. my blood pressure has increased a bit over the past few weeks and my diastolic is now around 80, where it used to be 60. everything else is fine, though, so the docs aren't worried about hypertension. keep your fingers crossed we continue to sail smoothly for another 4 weeks. our goal date for these guys is january 30, which is our 36 week mark. anything after that will be gravy! here i am in the boys room - i'll take more shots of their room and post soon. it's almost finished, thanks to mom doing an amazing amount of work washing their clothes and linens and organizing over christmas, and dad's work-of-art hand built changing station (see below). but i really need to sing the praises of j, who put this fantastic room together pretty much single-handedly. he's already an amazing dad and the boys aren't even here yet!

our new years eve tradition

j and i started a new years eve tradition 4 years ago in chicago as an alternative to the frenzied new years scene. we cook live lobsters and indulge in a decadent dinner and then relax, reminisce, watch a movie, etc. this year we took it to a new level and added alaskan king crab legs to the mix. i think we hit the jackpot. here's the evolution of our dinner (i'm missing 2004 for some reason).

our first year in chicago (2003):


2005 in chicago celebrating with j's mom, nancy:


2006 in austin:


we can't wait for our 2007 feast with our boys!

remembering 2006

it is especially exciting for us to welcome 2007 knowing that this is the year our boys will be born! we say goodbye to 2006 - a year certainly full of all sorts of joy and celebration, but also some times of uncertainty and transition.

we moved into a new house in july and not more than 2 weeks later our special cat samson was gone. sam was amazing. we were brought together when i was in grad school in oregon and i swear, it was like we lived a past life together. definitely more dog than cat, sam would come when called, liked to go for walks (to the corner grocery even!), and just had this totally cool demeanor that defied characterization. you could bring him anywhere and he would adapt. he was a total lover, an awesome hunter (at one point he raided a possum's nest and i was cleaning up baby possums in the yard for weeks), matilda's best friend, and even jordan will admit, the man of the house. we called him sammy, samurai, samsonitis, sam the man, handsome samson, sam sun son and sweet sam. sam was my constant companion from living in oregon, moving to dallas, austin, st. louis, chicago and back to austin. he saw me through my 20s and made sure that i ended up in a great place, with a wonderful husband and two lil' guys on the way before leaving. our new house backs up to the greenbelt and there have been numerous coyote sightings and cats missing around us. we choose to believe this is how sam moved on - the circle of the life. i truly miss our "little man in the fur suit" and am forever grateful that he blessed our lives for as long as he did. we'll never forget you.

samson althans silverman, september 1996 - july 2006


if losing sam wasn't enough, we also had the scare of losing matilda in 2006. after our move i noticed a small pea-sized lump on her side. thinking it could be anything, i kept my eye on it over the next month and noticed it doubled in size. the vet did some tests and it came back as a mast cell tumor, a particularly awful and invasive cancer. they did surgery right away but the lab analysis came back showing they hadn't removed it all. another surgery later, the lab came back clean and mati's been great ever since. we keep a close eye on her body looking for any signs of more growths and so far so good. she handled the surgeries like a champion, bouncing back from them usually in a day and back to her energetic, happy self. her frankenstein scars have taken a while to fade and for the hair to grow back. she's as beautiful as ever now, but we'll never forget this crazy time when we were unsure of what was going to happen to our girl.



we hope 2007 is full of health and happiness for you and all of the wonderful animal souls that make our world a much better place!

pain in the pubes

i'm a very lucky person to have had such a great pregnancy so far, but i've officially hit a snag. it started about a week ago and i've been struggling since. technically it's called "pubic symphasis dysfunction," but i think my post title sums it up pretty well. it basically feels like there's a knife being jabbed into your pubic bone every time you try and move. what happens is all the relaxin hormones are causing my pelvic joints to expand and open up. my pubic bone is taking the brunt of all this and the ligaments are overstretched and maybe starting to tear/separate. my pelvis is probably misaligned due to all the ridiculous contortions i put it through during years of gymnastics, which doesn't help the problem. and yesterday i learned during our ultrasound that baby a's head is bearing down right on my pubic bone. ouch!

it's all a small price to pay, but i feel pretty debilitated at this point. the good news is it doesn't hurt when i'm laying down or sitting. the bad news is i can barely walk. i've found that going backwards is less painful than going forwards, so i moonwalk about the house when i have to use the bathroom or get food/water. it's pretty darn funny! i am seeing a chiropractor and hopefully will get some relief with more treatments. j has been truly amazing waiting on me and making me as comfortable as possible. and my mom and dad just left after a 5 day visit - there is nothing like having your mom's comfort to make you feel like all will be better.

wonderful friends

my beautiful friend anne threw us an amazing shower in austin on dec. 17. it was intimate, low-key and complete with many of my wonderful friends and colleagues. unfortunately i brought our digital camera with a dead battery, so i'll have to wait for other pictures to come in to post.

anne organized one of the more touching activities i've been a part of to date - i'll call it "bead intentions." a bowl full of beads were passed around the room and when it came to you, you picked a bead and stated a wish, intention or words of wisdom for the boys (or me and j), and then threaded the bead on a leather string. i was truly touched by every word that was spoken and overwhelmed (to tears, of course!) by the love and wisdom of all the women in the room. my friends shared some very practical nuggets like "silence is never good when it comes to two little boys;" to heartfelt experiences like "even though it will feel overwhelming, no book, video or instructor will be able to tell you exactly what to do when your babies arrive. these are your babies, you created them, and you must trust your intuition to be your guide."

since i've been focusing more and more on the birth of these babes, one comment particularly hit home for me. "labor and birth and the few weeks after are the most miraculous, beautiful and wonderful times. savor these moments. people may tell you that it's painful and overwhelming and hard, but really it's magical." i love this sentiment. i've thought about it a lot. we have the priveledge of experiencing our sons at this precious time only once in our lives, and i'm looking forward to every second of it.

i plan on keeping my string of beads with me, and all the beautiful intentions and energy of my friends, throughout the labor and birth of our boys. i feel truly blessed.

so much to post...

this is what happens when i wait too long between posts. so much happens and i want to capture it all - and then some things start slipping away the more i wait. normal memory loss compounded by the scientific fact that a pregnant woman's brain shrinks 11 percent during gestation makes for frustrating blogging. i'll try my best, though...

tarot reading

i had a tarot reading last night at j's office holiday party. i actually took it seriously and concentrated on a key question while shuffling the deck. my question was what our birth experience would be like and the results were very affirming. the cards read:

1. you are in control of your boundaries: meaning there won't be any emergencies or situations that i can't make decisions about. i will be able to set the course of action for the birth (i.e. drug-free, etc).
2. clear your past: i need to free myself of any fears or worries i have from past experiences or thoughts. this is an interesting one, especially because we learned that most women will have at least one time during labor where things aren't progressing and their doula or midwife will ask them what they are fearful of. once they confront this and let it out, their labor progresses!
3. back to basics: we'll have a labor and birth that is exactly that - back to the basics of what women have been doing for thousands and thousands of years.
4. use your spiritual guides: that i'll have my spiritual "helpers" gathered around me for this event and i can call on them for strength and guidance.

i love these affirmations! i'm going to keep them close to me from here on out. since so many unexpected things happen during labor and birth, it will be interesting to compare what really happens to this prediction.

30 weeks and going strong

i look forward to going to the doctor every week for my dose of peace of mind. this friday was no exception - everything is looking great! i'm steadily gaining weight (about a pound a week), my blood pressure is good, babies' heartbeats are going strong and my cervix remains long and closed (this is very important in terms of pre-term labor). my belly is now measuring 36 weeks, so i continue to consistently look about 5-6 weeks ahead of where i'm really at. i have to say that this was my biggest fear early on in the pregnancy - i literally had several panic attacks thinking i would be gigantic at this point. i'm sure i'll get to the point where i feel like a beached whale, but so far i've avoided the obnoxious comments from strangers like "you must be about to pop any minute now," etc. if anything, it's been the opposite - most people say, "you don't look that big considering you have two babies in there." and believe me, when i hear that i feel very, very grateful and lucky.

this week i altered my work schedule so i'm now telecommuting 3.5 days a week. it's nearly impossible for me to make it through a full day at the office, and if i try, i really pay for it. again, i couldn't be more grateful for my bosses and their understanding and flexibility! i get tired and uncomfortable pretty quickly now, especially if i'm on my feet or sitting for a while. my body really likes being horizontal! also i noticed last night that my feet have grown about 1/2 a size. i put on my favorite (new mind you!) heels to where to j's office holiday party, and they were clearly too short. drats! i'm also occassionally getting some reflux in the middle of the night and have to take a few tums for relief. i'd say it happens a few times a week, so not too bad in the grand scheme of things. and this morning j pronounced after a stretch mark inspection that the linea nigra finally appeared! still stretch mark free, but i can't imagine coming through this totally unscathed.

no book has ever mentioned this one!

i've entitled my funniest and strangest sensation to date "hiccups in the butt." enough said.

these boys are crazy!

i know i've talked about the boys' movement before, but it's borderline ridiculous now. and i thought as you got further along in your third trimester and they started running out of room, their movement would decrease...silly me! they're vigorously trying to make more space for themselves - especially baby a, who has now taken over the crown of nutball from his brother. sometimes i feel like that carnival game where as soon as one head pops up, you hit it down with a hammer to find another popping up somewhere else. the more heads you hit, the more points you score. with the boys, one foot will all of a sudden stick out from my stomach, and as soon as i put my hand over it and rub it, another limb sticks out somewhere else! it's comical and delightful, and sometimes quite uncomfortable, especially when they hit an organ.

dreams

i'm a vivid dreamer as it is, but i have to tell you, nothing comes close to the dreams i've had since these babies entered the picture. last night i dreamt we went to the hospital and checked into the labor and delivery room. it was like a mcdonalds from the late 70s, all burnt orange, mustard, rust and brown. i was a little taken aback by the decor, but once i saw the giant hot tub, separate shower and another bath tub, i was pretty psyched! i started to unpack, which mainly consisted of finding a mini-fridge for all of the farmers market produce jordan had brought. we're talking the most beautiful red peppers, eggplant, and celery you've ever seen. i was in my glory knowing we had all these beautiful veggies to cook during our stay. in scoping out the place, i also managed to find a breast pump and my curiosity got the best of me. i put it together, hooked myself up to it and turned it on - and magically milk was coming out (mind you i hadn't even had the babies yet). i was so thrilled! mom and jordan then came into the room and i had this sudden realization that this might all be premature - i hadn't had one contraction yet, and here we were in the hospital. i started to get concerned about this...and then i woke up. bring on the interpretations, my friends!

double twin labor

i've made friends with two other expecting twin mamas in austin. we're all having boys...imagine that play date! both are being induced today, one at 37 and one at 38 weeks. i'm sending them both all my thoughts and energy for a wonderful labor and the safe arrival of their beautiful babes! these mom's are incredible women and sitting here at 29 weeks now, i'm in absolute awe of them each carrying two babies this long. woot woot!

last week's drama

before i say anything more, we're all doing great, feeling good and thriving. so the story has a very happy ending, which i'm writing at the beginning.

last sunday i felt a strange pain in my right lower side. upon laying down and prodding a little, i realized it was pretty darn tender. so i called my doc the next day, which i've learned to have no hesitation about (mother's instinct?), and he wanted me to come in immediately. after the examination, he was very concerned about appendicitis (i also had a fever of 100 - but felt fine other than the tenderness), so off i rushed to get blood work and to see a surgeon. my white blood count was on the high side, but the surgeon wasn't convinced i had a problem with my appendix, so i was released home but told to come back the next morning. more blood tests, urine test, and another exam the next day, and i was given a clean bill. whew!

the good thing that came of this is i learned what excellent care i have. my ob was all over it, and called me several times on my cell phone to see how i was doing. the surgeon was incredible and actually gave me his home phone just in case i worsened over the night. i just didn't believe doctors were like that anymore! we all are feeling much better now and i believe the tenderness is just due to these munchkins smooshing and scrunching all the organs in my belly. the sacrifice a mother makes...