sleeping, eating and burping

the life of a newborn, no? well in my case, i think i've regressed to these very basic functions dominating my life. i'm sleeping a lot, at least 10 hours a night, and i wouldn't be surprised if i start adding naps to my daytime routine. i just can't get enough zzz's. hey, i'll take it while i can get it! i'm thinking my body is also storing up energy. and speaking of energy, i'm still able to eat quite a bit. while i definitely feel the boys high up in my ribs and stomach, it hasn't relegated me to super-tiny meals. so i'm trying to give the boys lots of protein in these last few weeks and me lots of good carbs for the marathon that can be labor and delivery. as far as the burping goes, this has been by far my funniest symptom and i've had it the entire pregnancy. i've become a champion belcher and have even achieved the coveted burping-and-talking-simultaneously status that all teenagers strive for. what's even funnier is that, just like a newborn, the action of moving to a vertical status forces them out. so while i'm laying on my side, i'm pretty benign. but watch out when i stand up!

big boys

we had our 35 week ultrasound yesterday and the boys are bigger than we anticipated - a baby is 5lb 12oz an b baby is 5lb 7oz. yipee!!! i can't believe i have over 11 lbs of baby in me, but boy my body sure believes it. i can really feel the weight of these guys in my stomach and my muscles that surround them are super-fatigued when i move/walk around (which isn't much!). also, my belly is stretching so much now that the skin is getting pretty itchy. so i'm lube-ing up with vit. e and cocoa butter more than ever. when i go to the doctor now, everyone says "maybe we'll see you next week." i still have this feeling that we'll reach our 36 week goal, but it's truly starting to sink in that these boys can come any moment now and we are thrilled beyond belief!

almost to 35

on tuesday we hit week 35. it seems so surreal and both jordan and i have this sense of calm about the possibility of labor happening any day now. the boys have their growth ultrasound on tuesday, but i know they are big and strong enough that if they were born today, they'd be just fine. my guess is that they're at least 5 lbs each now! i had my last "twin" appointment at the perinatal group on thursday, and while my cervix is still closed and long, laura noticed it had softened quite a bit. the next morning, i lost my "plug" - essentially a ball of mucusy snot that covers your cervix during pregnancy. labor could still be weeks away when you lose your plug, but still it marks good progression! i then saw dr. love friday afternoon and he seems to think i'll go into labor in the next week or two. my blood pressure is still borderline high, but he's being very calm and non-reactionary about it (thank god!). if it goes up dramatically, or if i have any preeclampsia symptoms (protein in urine, headaches, blurred vision, etc.), we'll need to talk about inducing labor and having these babies. the good news is even if this does happen, it won't affect us having a normal vaginal delivery. i still have some loose ends to tie up at work, so i'm going to try and finish all that today, just in case these boys decide to come this week. i know i'll feel much better heading into week 35 and 36 with nothing hanging over me.

wilson!

i have officially named my belly wilson. remember the volleyball that was tom hanks companion in that weird but oddly captivating movie "cast away?" yes, that's right, my belly has a remarkable resemblance to that character. just the right size and proportion, and decorated very similar. i know this isn't the most pleasant image, but i have some broken blood vessels and yes, finally some stretch marks, that radiate upwards from my ballooned belly button - just like wilson's hair! so while i'm stranded on preggo island, i have my friend wilson to always keep me company and keep me (relatively) sane. and while sometimes when i look in the mirror i'm tempted to hurl my wilson out the window, i know, just like tom hanks, i'd be lost without him.

ice storm 07

our 34 week goal is punctuated by some pretty wicked weather today. freezing temps mixed with any precipitation makes a pretty nasty combination in austin. no one quite knows what to do, except to shut down the city and stay cozy warm at home. and you wouldn't want to venture out because the folks who are out have never driven in winter weather before. so today we are very happy - we have reached a very significant benchmark with the boys and we get to celebrate it by just relaxing and watching it snow and ice outside. what more could two chicagoans living in texas want?!

33 weeks (plus 2 days)

there's an interesting similarity between the first and third trimester where you become an obsessive day counter. early on, the days can't tick by fast enough until your out of the first 12 weeks and in the safety zone. now the days can't tick by fast enough until these boys are out of my belly and into our arms (safety zone again!). 34 weeks is a huge benchmark for us, as the boys will be well-developed and could very safely arrive if they so choose. in fact, once we hit 34 weeks, our doctor wouldn't stop labor if it started! now we also have a personal goal for team silverbabies to get to 36 weeks - jan. 30. this is considered full-term for twins and chances that we'd be able to take the boys home with us are very good.

i see the doctors twice a week now - early in the week is my "twin" appointment at the perinatal group and fridays i see my regular ob. since my blood pressure has been on the high side, i'm getting biophysical profiles of the boys every week. this is very non-invasive and includes monitoring their heartrates for about 15 minutes and then a quick ultrasound to check amniotic levels, breathing, movements, etc. we had our first one last tuesday and the boys passed with flying colors. i think as long as they look healthy and continue to thrive, my doc won't do anything drastic about the blood pressure. of course i LOVED seeing the boys again and they are both head down still (literally "butting heads") with their backs facing my belly. this is the perfect position for delivery, so keep your fingers crossed they're comfy and stay there.

physically i'm uncomfortable but definitely hanging in there. i'm still measuring at 39 weeks and my pubic discomfort has let up a little (or i'm just tolerating the pain more). because of my high blood pressure, i'm laying down a lot. it always drops to normal as soon as i hit horizontal. i feel best in the mornings, so i try and take advantage of this to accomplish most of what i need to be upright for. all in all, i'm doing very good, my spirits are high and i'm so optimistic about finally meeting our lil' guys!

good friends

here's a pic from my shower in austin. i love these ladies!

belly at 32 weeks

we had our 32 week "twin" check up yesterday and i'm now officially measuring at 39 weeks. my belly is almost at full term (but trust me, it feels beyond full term to me)! everything is looking good and the boys hearbeats sounded great. my blood pressure has increased a bit over the past few weeks and my diastolic is now around 80, where it used to be 60. everything else is fine, though, so the docs aren't worried about hypertension. keep your fingers crossed we continue to sail smoothly for another 4 weeks. our goal date for these guys is january 30, which is our 36 week mark. anything after that will be gravy! here i am in the boys room - i'll take more shots of their room and post soon. it's almost finished, thanks to mom doing an amazing amount of work washing their clothes and linens and organizing over christmas, and dad's work-of-art hand built changing station (see below). but i really need to sing the praises of j, who put this fantastic room together pretty much single-handedly. he's already an amazing dad and the boys aren't even here yet!

our new years eve tradition

j and i started a new years eve tradition 4 years ago in chicago as an alternative to the frenzied new years scene. we cook live lobsters and indulge in a decadent dinner and then relax, reminisce, watch a movie, etc. this year we took it to a new level and added alaskan king crab legs to the mix. i think we hit the jackpot. here's the evolution of our dinner (i'm missing 2004 for some reason).

our first year in chicago (2003):


2005 in chicago celebrating with j's mom, nancy:


2006 in austin:


we can't wait for our 2007 feast with our boys!

remembering 2006

it is especially exciting for us to welcome 2007 knowing that this is the year our boys will be born! we say goodbye to 2006 - a year certainly full of all sorts of joy and celebration, but also some times of uncertainty and transition.

we moved into a new house in july and not more than 2 weeks later our special cat samson was gone. sam was amazing. we were brought together when i was in grad school in oregon and i swear, it was like we lived a past life together. definitely more dog than cat, sam would come when called, liked to go for walks (to the corner grocery even!), and just had this totally cool demeanor that defied characterization. you could bring him anywhere and he would adapt. he was a total lover, an awesome hunter (at one point he raided a possum's nest and i was cleaning up baby possums in the yard for weeks), matilda's best friend, and even jordan will admit, the man of the house. we called him sammy, samurai, samsonitis, sam the man, handsome samson, sam sun son and sweet sam. sam was my constant companion from living in oregon, moving to dallas, austin, st. louis, chicago and back to austin. he saw me through my 20s and made sure that i ended up in a great place, with a wonderful husband and two lil' guys on the way before leaving. our new house backs up to the greenbelt and there have been numerous coyote sightings and cats missing around us. we choose to believe this is how sam moved on - the circle of the life. i truly miss our "little man in the fur suit" and am forever grateful that he blessed our lives for as long as he did. we'll never forget you.

samson althans silverman, september 1996 - july 2006


if losing sam wasn't enough, we also had the scare of losing matilda in 2006. after our move i noticed a small pea-sized lump on her side. thinking it could be anything, i kept my eye on it over the next month and noticed it doubled in size. the vet did some tests and it came back as a mast cell tumor, a particularly awful and invasive cancer. they did surgery right away but the lab analysis came back showing they hadn't removed it all. another surgery later, the lab came back clean and mati's been great ever since. we keep a close eye on her body looking for any signs of more growths and so far so good. she handled the surgeries like a champion, bouncing back from them usually in a day and back to her energetic, happy self. her frankenstein scars have taken a while to fade and for the hair to grow back. she's as beautiful as ever now, but we'll never forget this crazy time when we were unsure of what was going to happen to our girl.



we hope 2007 is full of health and happiness for you and all of the wonderful animal souls that make our world a much better place!

pain in the pubes

i'm a very lucky person to have had such a great pregnancy so far, but i've officially hit a snag. it started about a week ago and i've been struggling since. technically it's called "pubic symphasis dysfunction," but i think my post title sums it up pretty well. it basically feels like there's a knife being jabbed into your pubic bone every time you try and move. what happens is all the relaxin hormones are causing my pelvic joints to expand and open up. my pubic bone is taking the brunt of all this and the ligaments are overstretched and maybe starting to tear/separate. my pelvis is probably misaligned due to all the ridiculous contortions i put it through during years of gymnastics, which doesn't help the problem. and yesterday i learned during our ultrasound that baby a's head is bearing down right on my pubic bone. ouch!

it's all a small price to pay, but i feel pretty debilitated at this point. the good news is it doesn't hurt when i'm laying down or sitting. the bad news is i can barely walk. i've found that going backwards is less painful than going forwards, so i moonwalk about the house when i have to use the bathroom or get food/water. it's pretty darn funny! i am seeing a chiropractor and hopefully will get some relief with more treatments. j has been truly amazing waiting on me and making me as comfortable as possible. and my mom and dad just left after a 5 day visit - there is nothing like having your mom's comfort to make you feel like all will be better.

wonderful friends

my beautiful friend anne threw us an amazing shower in austin on dec. 17. it was intimate, low-key and complete with many of my wonderful friends and colleagues. unfortunately i brought our digital camera with a dead battery, so i'll have to wait for other pictures to come in to post.

anne organized one of the more touching activities i've been a part of to date - i'll call it "bead intentions." a bowl full of beads were passed around the room and when it came to you, you picked a bead and stated a wish, intention or words of wisdom for the boys (or me and j), and then threaded the bead on a leather string. i was truly touched by every word that was spoken and overwhelmed (to tears, of course!) by the love and wisdom of all the women in the room. my friends shared some very practical nuggets like "silence is never good when it comes to two little boys;" to heartfelt experiences like "even though it will feel overwhelming, no book, video or instructor will be able to tell you exactly what to do when your babies arrive. these are your babies, you created them, and you must trust your intuition to be your guide."

since i've been focusing more and more on the birth of these babes, one comment particularly hit home for me. "labor and birth and the few weeks after are the most miraculous, beautiful and wonderful times. savor these moments. people may tell you that it's painful and overwhelming and hard, but really it's magical." i love this sentiment. i've thought about it a lot. we have the priveledge of experiencing our sons at this precious time only once in our lives, and i'm looking forward to every second of it.

i plan on keeping my string of beads with me, and all the beautiful intentions and energy of my friends, throughout the labor and birth of our boys. i feel truly blessed.

so much to post...

this is what happens when i wait too long between posts. so much happens and i want to capture it all - and then some things start slipping away the more i wait. normal memory loss compounded by the scientific fact that a pregnant woman's brain shrinks 11 percent during gestation makes for frustrating blogging. i'll try my best, though...

tarot reading

i had a tarot reading last night at j's office holiday party. i actually took it seriously and concentrated on a key question while shuffling the deck. my question was what our birth experience would be like and the results were very affirming. the cards read:

1. you are in control of your boundaries: meaning there won't be any emergencies or situations that i can't make decisions about. i will be able to set the course of action for the birth (i.e. drug-free, etc).
2. clear your past: i need to free myself of any fears or worries i have from past experiences or thoughts. this is an interesting one, especially because we learned that most women will have at least one time during labor where things aren't progressing and their doula or midwife will ask them what they are fearful of. once they confront this and let it out, their labor progresses!
3. back to basics: we'll have a labor and birth that is exactly that - back to the basics of what women have been doing for thousands and thousands of years.
4. use your spiritual guides: that i'll have my spiritual "helpers" gathered around me for this event and i can call on them for strength and guidance.

i love these affirmations! i'm going to keep them close to me from here on out. since so many unexpected things happen during labor and birth, it will be interesting to compare what really happens to this prediction.

30 weeks and going strong

i look forward to going to the doctor every week for my dose of peace of mind. this friday was no exception - everything is looking great! i'm steadily gaining weight (about a pound a week), my blood pressure is good, babies' heartbeats are going strong and my cervix remains long and closed (this is very important in terms of pre-term labor). my belly is now measuring 36 weeks, so i continue to consistently look about 5-6 weeks ahead of where i'm really at. i have to say that this was my biggest fear early on in the pregnancy - i literally had several panic attacks thinking i would be gigantic at this point. i'm sure i'll get to the point where i feel like a beached whale, but so far i've avoided the obnoxious comments from strangers like "you must be about to pop any minute now," etc. if anything, it's been the opposite - most people say, "you don't look that big considering you have two babies in there." and believe me, when i hear that i feel very, very grateful and lucky.

this week i altered my work schedule so i'm now telecommuting 3.5 days a week. it's nearly impossible for me to make it through a full day at the office, and if i try, i really pay for it. again, i couldn't be more grateful for my bosses and their understanding and flexibility! i get tired and uncomfortable pretty quickly now, especially if i'm on my feet or sitting for a while. my body really likes being horizontal! also i noticed last night that my feet have grown about 1/2 a size. i put on my favorite (new mind you!) heels to where to j's office holiday party, and they were clearly too short. drats! i'm also occassionally getting some reflux in the middle of the night and have to take a few tums for relief. i'd say it happens a few times a week, so not too bad in the grand scheme of things. and this morning j pronounced after a stretch mark inspection that the linea nigra finally appeared! still stretch mark free, but i can't imagine coming through this totally unscathed.

no book has ever mentioned this one!

i've entitled my funniest and strangest sensation to date "hiccups in the butt." enough said.

these boys are crazy!

i know i've talked about the boys' movement before, but it's borderline ridiculous now. and i thought as you got further along in your third trimester and they started running out of room, their movement would decrease...silly me! they're vigorously trying to make more space for themselves - especially baby a, who has now taken over the crown of nutball from his brother. sometimes i feel like that carnival game where as soon as one head pops up, you hit it down with a hammer to find another popping up somewhere else. the more heads you hit, the more points you score. with the boys, one foot will all of a sudden stick out from my stomach, and as soon as i put my hand over it and rub it, another limb sticks out somewhere else! it's comical and delightful, and sometimes quite uncomfortable, especially when they hit an organ.

dreams

i'm a vivid dreamer as it is, but i have to tell you, nothing comes close to the dreams i've had since these babies entered the picture. last night i dreamt we went to the hospital and checked into the labor and delivery room. it was like a mcdonalds from the late 70s, all burnt orange, mustard, rust and brown. i was a little taken aback by the decor, but once i saw the giant hot tub, separate shower and another bath tub, i was pretty psyched! i started to unpack, which mainly consisted of finding a mini-fridge for all of the farmers market produce jordan had brought. we're talking the most beautiful red peppers, eggplant, and celery you've ever seen. i was in my glory knowing we had all these beautiful veggies to cook during our stay. in scoping out the place, i also managed to find a breast pump and my curiosity got the best of me. i put it together, hooked myself up to it and turned it on - and magically milk was coming out (mind you i hadn't even had the babies yet). i was so thrilled! mom and jordan then came into the room and i had this sudden realization that this might all be premature - i hadn't had one contraction yet, and here we were in the hospital. i started to get concerned about this...and then i woke up. bring on the interpretations, my friends!

double twin labor

i've made friends with two other expecting twin mamas in austin. we're all having boys...imagine that play date! both are being induced today, one at 37 and one at 38 weeks. i'm sending them both all my thoughts and energy for a wonderful labor and the safe arrival of their beautiful babes! these mom's are incredible women and sitting here at 29 weeks now, i'm in absolute awe of them each carrying two babies this long. woot woot!

last week's drama

before i say anything more, we're all doing great, feeling good and thriving. so the story has a very happy ending, which i'm writing at the beginning.

last sunday i felt a strange pain in my right lower side. upon laying down and prodding a little, i realized it was pretty darn tender. so i called my doc the next day, which i've learned to have no hesitation about (mother's instinct?), and he wanted me to come in immediately. after the examination, he was very concerned about appendicitis (i also had a fever of 100 - but felt fine other than the tenderness), so off i rushed to get blood work and to see a surgeon. my white blood count was on the high side, but the surgeon wasn't convinced i had a problem with my appendix, so i was released home but told to come back the next morning. more blood tests, urine test, and another exam the next day, and i was given a clean bill. whew!

the good thing that came of this is i learned what excellent care i have. my ob was all over it, and called me several times on my cell phone to see how i was doing. the surgeon was incredible and actually gave me his home phone just in case i worsened over the night. i just didn't believe doctors were like that anymore! we all are feeling much better now and i believe the tenderness is just due to these munchkins smooshing and scrunching all the organs in my belly. the sacrifice a mother makes...