too much love

it's hard to imagine life without these guys. we stare at them for hours, kiss them more times in a day then we've ever kissed anything our entire lives, and take in their smell as if it were our last breath. my mother-in-law says they're delicious. i agree - i want to gobble them up every day!

ozzy's sensitive-man portrait

ozzy showing off his double chin and receding hair line (left) and aj plotting to take over the world

aj in surprise and delight

sweet sleep

now that the boys are one month old and have broken the 6 and 7 lb mark (abel weighed in at 6lb 8oz and oz is 7lb 2oz), our doc gave us the go-ahead to let them sleep longer stretches at night. up 'til now, we have been following a 3-hour feeding schedule, even at night. you can imagine how hard it's been to force everyone to get up at midnight, 3am and 6am when we all need our beauty sleep! last night the boys slept a 4 and 4.5 hour stretch, which translated into wonderful stretches of sweet dreams for us all.

it was glorious!!! i never imagined how much i would treasure 4 hours of snooze.

both j and i have suffered from moments of delerium during the 3-hour night schedule, including thinking we have already fed and diapered the boys when they are still fast asleep, as well as j thinking he has been snuggling with one of the boys when they are cozy in their co-sleeper. we had no delerious moments last night, so hopefully we have experienced the last of them.

fool me three times?!?!

we all know the old cliche, "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." well i'd like a revision. i've been fooled three times with our lil' abel. yes, we're talking pee here. and yes, we're talking three times being sprayed in the same diaper change. i didn't think it was possible, but clearly this boy has reserves! it hit my forehead, my glasses, my chest, the changing station, the dresser, and when i looked up, the window and the blinds! i'm sure all moms with little boys have their pee stories. but this one left me laughing hysterically in a fit of disbelief and my own gaul at thinking i could outwit multiple streams.

on another note, ozzy and aj are now over three weeks and we are ridiculously proud at how well they are growing. yesterday ozzy weighed in at 6lb 9oz and last friday abel was at 5lb 11oz. abel has had a voracious appetite, so i think he's grown quite a bit since then. i can't wait until he breaks the 6lb mark. it's amazing how you can get so excited about something as small as an once!

here are two pics from our photo shoot last week. gotta run...the boys are calling for their 3 pm feeding!

oz on left, abel on right

two weeks old!

the boys turned two weeks old yesterday and we have all settled in to happy family status. it's truly hard to believe that 14 days have passed - it is going WAY too fast!

here we all are after a nice long walk around the neighborhood (yes, it feels amazing to be able to move around like a normal person again!)

oskar hersh

oskar hersh
(aka ozzy, oz-man, tiger, big o, chunky monkey, block head)

loves: stretching, playing footsie and touch down with his arms, making kissy faces, getting kisses from matilda, manicures

hates: bath-time (mom is not giving up hope)

notes: by his two-week birthday, ozzy regained his birth weight of 5lb 7 oz and then some. he now weighs 5lb 9oz and his head grew a whopping centimeter (j is one proud papa). oz has a really strong neck and can already hold his head up for extended periods of time (which is a good thing, thanks to that huge head of his!). he's a very mellow guy and just likes to hang out and go with the flow. he didn't even cry during his heel prick at the doc's office. he sleeps great and rarely fusses, except while getting a bath. i'm not surprised given the fact that everytime i took a bath while pregnant, ozzy was a wild man!

abel jacob

abel jacob
(aka a.j., a.b., squawk box, abel j, feist bucket)

loves: bath-time, making kissy faces, massages, the swing, eating, the soothie, being read too, walks in the bjorn

hates: being changed (especially the poopy variety), being woken up (who doesn't!)

notes: by his two-week birthday, abel stunned us all with his growth. he weighed in at 5lb 1 oz, up from his birth weight of 4lb 13oz. clearly this boy loves to eat! even though abel was mellow in the womb, he's definitely a rambunctous one. he's fiesty as all get out when he wakes up but calms down really fast. he's very articulate with his hands and fingers and loves to hold his ears, almost a "hear no evil" pose. he sleeps like a champ. he loves the water and just hangs out in the tub. he also burps like a truck driver! abel loves to talk and will just lay in his crib entertaining himself and his brother with all sorts of sounds.

skin to skin

welcome silverboys!

we are so thrilled and proud to announce the birth of our two boys:

abel jacob (AJ) was born at 3:38am on saturday, january 27, 2007
4lb 13oz and 17.5 inches

oskar (ozzy) hersh was born at 4:48am on saturday, january 27, 2007
5lb 7oz and 19 inches

we were all happily released from the hospital on wednesday afternoon and have been getting the hang of it at home. everything is going amazing! these boys are absolutely wonderful - good sleepers, good eaters and so darn beautiful.

i'm anxious to post more but for now wanted to get the basics up. we are so grateful to all of our amazing family and friends for their love and support during this miracle!

Silverbabies Are Coming!

Hi there, it's not Tracey -- it's Anne. Typing for Tracey who's on the other end of the phone! Here's what she says:

We're all set in the hospital -- the doctor decided to induce. We started pitocin around 2pm this afternoon and should have our Silverbabies with us tonight or early tomorrow morning. Yea!

(Note: Tracey sounds totally calm, and Jordan's getting there.)

sleeping, eating and burping

the life of a newborn, no? well in my case, i think i've regressed to these very basic functions dominating my life. i'm sleeping a lot, at least 10 hours a night, and i wouldn't be surprised if i start adding naps to my daytime routine. i just can't get enough zzz's. hey, i'll take it while i can get it! i'm thinking my body is also storing up energy. and speaking of energy, i'm still able to eat quite a bit. while i definitely feel the boys high up in my ribs and stomach, it hasn't relegated me to super-tiny meals. so i'm trying to give the boys lots of protein in these last few weeks and me lots of good carbs for the marathon that can be labor and delivery. as far as the burping goes, this has been by far my funniest symptom and i've had it the entire pregnancy. i've become a champion belcher and have even achieved the coveted burping-and-talking-simultaneously status that all teenagers strive for. what's even funnier is that, just like a newborn, the action of moving to a vertical status forces them out. so while i'm laying on my side, i'm pretty benign. but watch out when i stand up!

big boys

we had our 35 week ultrasound yesterday and the boys are bigger than we anticipated - a baby is 5lb 12oz an b baby is 5lb 7oz. yipee!!! i can't believe i have over 11 lbs of baby in me, but boy my body sure believes it. i can really feel the weight of these guys in my stomach and my muscles that surround them are super-fatigued when i move/walk around (which isn't much!). also, my belly is stretching so much now that the skin is getting pretty itchy. so i'm lube-ing up with vit. e and cocoa butter more than ever. when i go to the doctor now, everyone says "maybe we'll see you next week." i still have this feeling that we'll reach our 36 week goal, but it's truly starting to sink in that these boys can come any moment now and we are thrilled beyond belief!

almost to 35

on tuesday we hit week 35. it seems so surreal and both jordan and i have this sense of calm about the possibility of labor happening any day now. the boys have their growth ultrasound on tuesday, but i know they are big and strong enough that if they were born today, they'd be just fine. my guess is that they're at least 5 lbs each now! i had my last "twin" appointment at the perinatal group on thursday, and while my cervix is still closed and long, laura noticed it had softened quite a bit. the next morning, i lost my "plug" - essentially a ball of mucusy snot that covers your cervix during pregnancy. labor could still be weeks away when you lose your plug, but still it marks good progression! i then saw dr. love friday afternoon and he seems to think i'll go into labor in the next week or two. my blood pressure is still borderline high, but he's being very calm and non-reactionary about it (thank god!). if it goes up dramatically, or if i have any preeclampsia symptoms (protein in urine, headaches, blurred vision, etc.), we'll need to talk about inducing labor and having these babies. the good news is even if this does happen, it won't affect us having a normal vaginal delivery. i still have some loose ends to tie up at work, so i'm going to try and finish all that today, just in case these boys decide to come this week. i know i'll feel much better heading into week 35 and 36 with nothing hanging over me.

wilson!

i have officially named my belly wilson. remember the volleyball that was tom hanks companion in that weird but oddly captivating movie "cast away?" yes, that's right, my belly has a remarkable resemblance to that character. just the right size and proportion, and decorated very similar. i know this isn't the most pleasant image, but i have some broken blood vessels and yes, finally some stretch marks, that radiate upwards from my ballooned belly button - just like wilson's hair! so while i'm stranded on preggo island, i have my friend wilson to always keep me company and keep me (relatively) sane. and while sometimes when i look in the mirror i'm tempted to hurl my wilson out the window, i know, just like tom hanks, i'd be lost without him.

ice storm 07

our 34 week goal is punctuated by some pretty wicked weather today. freezing temps mixed with any precipitation makes a pretty nasty combination in austin. no one quite knows what to do, except to shut down the city and stay cozy warm at home. and you wouldn't want to venture out because the folks who are out have never driven in winter weather before. so today we are very happy - we have reached a very significant benchmark with the boys and we get to celebrate it by just relaxing and watching it snow and ice outside. what more could two chicagoans living in texas want?!

33 weeks (plus 2 days)

there's an interesting similarity between the first and third trimester where you become an obsessive day counter. early on, the days can't tick by fast enough until your out of the first 12 weeks and in the safety zone. now the days can't tick by fast enough until these boys are out of my belly and into our arms (safety zone again!). 34 weeks is a huge benchmark for us, as the boys will be well-developed and could very safely arrive if they so choose. in fact, once we hit 34 weeks, our doctor wouldn't stop labor if it started! now we also have a personal goal for team silverbabies to get to 36 weeks - jan. 30. this is considered full-term for twins and chances that we'd be able to take the boys home with us are very good.

i see the doctors twice a week now - early in the week is my "twin" appointment at the perinatal group and fridays i see my regular ob. since my blood pressure has been on the high side, i'm getting biophysical profiles of the boys every week. this is very non-invasive and includes monitoring their heartrates for about 15 minutes and then a quick ultrasound to check amniotic levels, breathing, movements, etc. we had our first one last tuesday and the boys passed with flying colors. i think as long as they look healthy and continue to thrive, my doc won't do anything drastic about the blood pressure. of course i LOVED seeing the boys again and they are both head down still (literally "butting heads") with their backs facing my belly. this is the perfect position for delivery, so keep your fingers crossed they're comfy and stay there.

physically i'm uncomfortable but definitely hanging in there. i'm still measuring at 39 weeks and my pubic discomfort has let up a little (or i'm just tolerating the pain more). because of my high blood pressure, i'm laying down a lot. it always drops to normal as soon as i hit horizontal. i feel best in the mornings, so i try and take advantage of this to accomplish most of what i need to be upright for. all in all, i'm doing very good, my spirits are high and i'm so optimistic about finally meeting our lil' guys!

good friends

here's a pic from my shower in austin. i love these ladies!

belly at 32 weeks

we had our 32 week "twin" check up yesterday and i'm now officially measuring at 39 weeks. my belly is almost at full term (but trust me, it feels beyond full term to me)! everything is looking good and the boys hearbeats sounded great. my blood pressure has increased a bit over the past few weeks and my diastolic is now around 80, where it used to be 60. everything else is fine, though, so the docs aren't worried about hypertension. keep your fingers crossed we continue to sail smoothly for another 4 weeks. our goal date for these guys is january 30, which is our 36 week mark. anything after that will be gravy! here i am in the boys room - i'll take more shots of their room and post soon. it's almost finished, thanks to mom doing an amazing amount of work washing their clothes and linens and organizing over christmas, and dad's work-of-art hand built changing station (see below). but i really need to sing the praises of j, who put this fantastic room together pretty much single-handedly. he's already an amazing dad and the boys aren't even here yet!

our new years eve tradition

j and i started a new years eve tradition 4 years ago in chicago as an alternative to the frenzied new years scene. we cook live lobsters and indulge in a decadent dinner and then relax, reminisce, watch a movie, etc. this year we took it to a new level and added alaskan king crab legs to the mix. i think we hit the jackpot. here's the evolution of our dinner (i'm missing 2004 for some reason).

our first year in chicago (2003):


2005 in chicago celebrating with j's mom, nancy:


2006 in austin:


we can't wait for our 2007 feast with our boys!

remembering 2006

it is especially exciting for us to welcome 2007 knowing that this is the year our boys will be born! we say goodbye to 2006 - a year certainly full of all sorts of joy and celebration, but also some times of uncertainty and transition.

we moved into a new house in july and not more than 2 weeks later our special cat samson was gone. sam was amazing. we were brought together when i was in grad school in oregon and i swear, it was like we lived a past life together. definitely more dog than cat, sam would come when called, liked to go for walks (to the corner grocery even!), and just had this totally cool demeanor that defied characterization. you could bring him anywhere and he would adapt. he was a total lover, an awesome hunter (at one point he raided a possum's nest and i was cleaning up baby possums in the yard for weeks), matilda's best friend, and even jordan will admit, the man of the house. we called him sammy, samurai, samsonitis, sam the man, handsome samson, sam sun son and sweet sam. sam was my constant companion from living in oregon, moving to dallas, austin, st. louis, chicago and back to austin. he saw me through my 20s and made sure that i ended up in a great place, with a wonderful husband and two lil' guys on the way before leaving. our new house backs up to the greenbelt and there have been numerous coyote sightings and cats missing around us. we choose to believe this is how sam moved on - the circle of the life. i truly miss our "little man in the fur suit" and am forever grateful that he blessed our lives for as long as he did. we'll never forget you.

samson althans silverman, september 1996 - july 2006


if losing sam wasn't enough, we also had the scare of losing matilda in 2006. after our move i noticed a small pea-sized lump on her side. thinking it could be anything, i kept my eye on it over the next month and noticed it doubled in size. the vet did some tests and it came back as a mast cell tumor, a particularly awful and invasive cancer. they did surgery right away but the lab analysis came back showing they hadn't removed it all. another surgery later, the lab came back clean and mati's been great ever since. we keep a close eye on her body looking for any signs of more growths and so far so good. she handled the surgeries like a champion, bouncing back from them usually in a day and back to her energetic, happy self. her frankenstein scars have taken a while to fade and for the hair to grow back. she's as beautiful as ever now, but we'll never forget this crazy time when we were unsure of what was going to happen to our girl.



we hope 2007 is full of health and happiness for you and all of the wonderful animal souls that make our world a much better place!

pain in the pubes

i'm a very lucky person to have had such a great pregnancy so far, but i've officially hit a snag. it started about a week ago and i've been struggling since. technically it's called "pubic symphasis dysfunction," but i think my post title sums it up pretty well. it basically feels like there's a knife being jabbed into your pubic bone every time you try and move. what happens is all the relaxin hormones are causing my pelvic joints to expand and open up. my pubic bone is taking the brunt of all this and the ligaments are overstretched and maybe starting to tear/separate. my pelvis is probably misaligned due to all the ridiculous contortions i put it through during years of gymnastics, which doesn't help the problem. and yesterday i learned during our ultrasound that baby a's head is bearing down right on my pubic bone. ouch!

it's all a small price to pay, but i feel pretty debilitated at this point. the good news is it doesn't hurt when i'm laying down or sitting. the bad news is i can barely walk. i've found that going backwards is less painful than going forwards, so i moonwalk about the house when i have to use the bathroom or get food/water. it's pretty darn funny! i am seeing a chiropractor and hopefully will get some relief with more treatments. j has been truly amazing waiting on me and making me as comfortable as possible. and my mom and dad just left after a 5 day visit - there is nothing like having your mom's comfort to make you feel like all will be better.

wonderful friends

my beautiful friend anne threw us an amazing shower in austin on dec. 17. it was intimate, low-key and complete with many of my wonderful friends and colleagues. unfortunately i brought our digital camera with a dead battery, so i'll have to wait for other pictures to come in to post.

anne organized one of the more touching activities i've been a part of to date - i'll call it "bead intentions." a bowl full of beads were passed around the room and when it came to you, you picked a bead and stated a wish, intention or words of wisdom for the boys (or me and j), and then threaded the bead on a leather string. i was truly touched by every word that was spoken and overwhelmed (to tears, of course!) by the love and wisdom of all the women in the room. my friends shared some very practical nuggets like "silence is never good when it comes to two little boys;" to heartfelt experiences like "even though it will feel overwhelming, no book, video or instructor will be able to tell you exactly what to do when your babies arrive. these are your babies, you created them, and you must trust your intuition to be your guide."

since i've been focusing more and more on the birth of these babes, one comment particularly hit home for me. "labor and birth and the few weeks after are the most miraculous, beautiful and wonderful times. savor these moments. people may tell you that it's painful and overwhelming and hard, but really it's magical." i love this sentiment. i've thought about it a lot. we have the priveledge of experiencing our sons at this precious time only once in our lives, and i'm looking forward to every second of it.

i plan on keeping my string of beads with me, and all the beautiful intentions and energy of my friends, throughout the labor and birth of our boys. i feel truly blessed.

so much to post...

this is what happens when i wait too long between posts. so much happens and i want to capture it all - and then some things start slipping away the more i wait. normal memory loss compounded by the scientific fact that a pregnant woman's brain shrinks 11 percent during gestation makes for frustrating blogging. i'll try my best, though...

tarot reading

i had a tarot reading last night at j's office holiday party. i actually took it seriously and concentrated on a key question while shuffling the deck. my question was what our birth experience would be like and the results were very affirming. the cards read:

1. you are in control of your boundaries: meaning there won't be any emergencies or situations that i can't make decisions about. i will be able to set the course of action for the birth (i.e. drug-free, etc).
2. clear your past: i need to free myself of any fears or worries i have from past experiences or thoughts. this is an interesting one, especially because we learned that most women will have at least one time during labor where things aren't progressing and their doula or midwife will ask them what they are fearful of. once they confront this and let it out, their labor progresses!
3. back to basics: we'll have a labor and birth that is exactly that - back to the basics of what women have been doing for thousands and thousands of years.
4. use your spiritual guides: that i'll have my spiritual "helpers" gathered around me for this event and i can call on them for strength and guidance.

i love these affirmations! i'm going to keep them close to me from here on out. since so many unexpected things happen during labor and birth, it will be interesting to compare what really happens to this prediction.

30 weeks and going strong

i look forward to going to the doctor every week for my dose of peace of mind. this friday was no exception - everything is looking great! i'm steadily gaining weight (about a pound a week), my blood pressure is good, babies' heartbeats are going strong and my cervix remains long and closed (this is very important in terms of pre-term labor). my belly is now measuring 36 weeks, so i continue to consistently look about 5-6 weeks ahead of where i'm really at. i have to say that this was my biggest fear early on in the pregnancy - i literally had several panic attacks thinking i would be gigantic at this point. i'm sure i'll get to the point where i feel like a beached whale, but so far i've avoided the obnoxious comments from strangers like "you must be about to pop any minute now," etc. if anything, it's been the opposite - most people say, "you don't look that big considering you have two babies in there." and believe me, when i hear that i feel very, very grateful and lucky.

this week i altered my work schedule so i'm now telecommuting 3.5 days a week. it's nearly impossible for me to make it through a full day at the office, and if i try, i really pay for it. again, i couldn't be more grateful for my bosses and their understanding and flexibility! i get tired and uncomfortable pretty quickly now, especially if i'm on my feet or sitting for a while. my body really likes being horizontal! also i noticed last night that my feet have grown about 1/2 a size. i put on my favorite (new mind you!) heels to where to j's office holiday party, and they were clearly too short. drats! i'm also occassionally getting some reflux in the middle of the night and have to take a few tums for relief. i'd say it happens a few times a week, so not too bad in the grand scheme of things. and this morning j pronounced after a stretch mark inspection that the linea nigra finally appeared! still stretch mark free, but i can't imagine coming through this totally unscathed.

no book has ever mentioned this one!

i've entitled my funniest and strangest sensation to date "hiccups in the butt." enough said.

these boys are crazy!

i know i've talked about the boys' movement before, but it's borderline ridiculous now. and i thought as you got further along in your third trimester and they started running out of room, their movement would decrease...silly me! they're vigorously trying to make more space for themselves - especially baby a, who has now taken over the crown of nutball from his brother. sometimes i feel like that carnival game where as soon as one head pops up, you hit it down with a hammer to find another popping up somewhere else. the more heads you hit, the more points you score. with the boys, one foot will all of a sudden stick out from my stomach, and as soon as i put my hand over it and rub it, another limb sticks out somewhere else! it's comical and delightful, and sometimes quite uncomfortable, especially when they hit an organ.

dreams

i'm a vivid dreamer as it is, but i have to tell you, nothing comes close to the dreams i've had since these babies entered the picture. last night i dreamt we went to the hospital and checked into the labor and delivery room. it was like a mcdonalds from the late 70s, all burnt orange, mustard, rust and brown. i was a little taken aback by the decor, but once i saw the giant hot tub, separate shower and another bath tub, i was pretty psyched! i started to unpack, which mainly consisted of finding a mini-fridge for all of the farmers market produce jordan had brought. we're talking the most beautiful red peppers, eggplant, and celery you've ever seen. i was in my glory knowing we had all these beautiful veggies to cook during our stay. in scoping out the place, i also managed to find a breast pump and my curiosity got the best of me. i put it together, hooked myself up to it and turned it on - and magically milk was coming out (mind you i hadn't even had the babies yet). i was so thrilled! mom and jordan then came into the room and i had this sudden realization that this might all be premature - i hadn't had one contraction yet, and here we were in the hospital. i started to get concerned about this...and then i woke up. bring on the interpretations, my friends!

double twin labor

i've made friends with two other expecting twin mamas in austin. we're all having boys...imagine that play date! both are being induced today, one at 37 and one at 38 weeks. i'm sending them both all my thoughts and energy for a wonderful labor and the safe arrival of their beautiful babes! these mom's are incredible women and sitting here at 29 weeks now, i'm in absolute awe of them each carrying two babies this long. woot woot!

last week's drama

before i say anything more, we're all doing great, feeling good and thriving. so the story has a very happy ending, which i'm writing at the beginning.

last sunday i felt a strange pain in my right lower side. upon laying down and prodding a little, i realized it was pretty darn tender. so i called my doc the next day, which i've learned to have no hesitation about (mother's instinct?), and he wanted me to come in immediately. after the examination, he was very concerned about appendicitis (i also had a fever of 100 - but felt fine other than the tenderness), so off i rushed to get blood work and to see a surgeon. my white blood count was on the high side, but the surgeon wasn't convinced i had a problem with my appendix, so i was released home but told to come back the next morning. more blood tests, urine test, and another exam the next day, and i was given a clean bill. whew!

the good thing that came of this is i learned what excellent care i have. my ob was all over it, and called me several times on my cell phone to see how i was doing. the surgeon was incredible and actually gave me his home phone just in case i worsened over the night. i just didn't believe doctors were like that anymore! we all are feeling much better now and i believe the tenderness is just due to these munchkins smooshing and scrunching all the organs in my belly. the sacrifice a mother makes...

welcome isabel!

last night our sister-in-law jen (jordan's brother's wife) went into labor. today we welcome their baby girl isabel sophia into this world! she weighs 6lb 3oz and is 19 inches long. mom, dad and baby are doing wonderful. we can't wait to meet this precious silverman soul and are sending all our joy and love. boys, you now have a cousin!

third trimester stretch

we had our 27 week ultrasound and perinatal appt. on tuesday and i'm pleased to report that me and the boys are doing great! the boys are both head down and growing like weeks, weighing in at 2lb 3oz (baby a) and 2lb 6oz (baby b). they are measuring right where a singleton baby would be! all of their legs and feet are concentrated in the upper part of my belly, which explains all the crazy movement i feel above my belly button. i can imagine them playing footsie with one another - how cute! my belly is measuring at 33 weeks and i've now gained a total of 37 pounds, thanks in part to our recent vacation in chicago. the doctors are thrilled with my weight gain, as it's common to actually lose weight in the last trimester, so you need a good reserve. from here on out, the boys will each gain between 6-8 oz each week. i can't believe that we are already in the final stretch. most doctors won't let a twin pregnancy go past 37-38 weeks, and most mom's deliver twins in the 36 week range. that means we're just about 2 months from meeting our babes!

sweet home chicago

even though j and i call austin home now, we will always hold a very special place in our hearts for chicago. we couldn't have asked for a more perfect trip, being that this is the last one we will take before we become parents. the weather was gorgeous - sunny and 55 every day. we spent quality time with our parents, mark and laura, the mohrlein-anderberg clan, aunt moe, al, and my best friend brandy (and ed, of course!). j and i also took a mini vacation to the city and stayed two nights at the belden-statford, the hotel we stayed at the night of our wedding. we hit all our favorite restaurants, including the fabulous hemmas (the best indian), went to the field museum and aquarium, and walked to cafe brauer in lincoln park (where we were married). it felt magical and j and i got very nostalgic being in our old stomping grounds. chicago is an amazing town and we can't wait to introduce the boys to this place.

me at 26 weeks:


cafe brauer, where we got married!



mark and j:


the althans clan:


the wonder moms:


aunt moe scarfing more of dana's cake from the shower:

showered bliss

j and i had an amazing trip home to chicago for thanksgiving. both moms, dana and aunt joanie threw us a beautiful babies shower the day after our arrival. we feel so blessed to have spent the morning with our wonderful family and friends, including aunt diane who came in from california, aunt moe who came in from cincinnati, and mark and laura who drove in from minneapolis. of course i got all weepy at the end of the event, but it truly overwhelms me how much love and support surrounds us and the arrival of our lil' guys! thank you to everyone who attended and for all of the incredible gifts and love showered on our boys.

i wish i could post all of the pictures, but here are just a few to give you a taste.

mama nancy, angela, me, judith, mama alina and jeri:


here is dana's wonderful cake creation (the boys' room has a snoopy theme!). for those of you who don't know, dana is our dear friend who also happens to be one of the most talented pastry chefs in the chicagoland area:



and of course, dana didn't forget jordan and his fixation with her chocolate mousse. how appropriate!



cousin paula, aunt diane, cousin brenda and me:

ode to matlida

this is my new favorite picture of our girl, matilda. we often wonder how things will be different for her with the arrival of the boys, if she'll love them or growl at them, protect them and lick their feet and toes. she's had issues in the past with little munchkins, i think more out of fear of not knowing what they are (aliens, perhaps?). we got a clue into her amazing, gentle demeanor when jake stayed with us. mati was so good with him, so curious but respectful. and when he left i think she really missed him. i think mati will be an amazing dog for our boys, as they're babies but especially when they are old enough to really interact with her. i see her always being by their side, watching out for them, making sure they are safe. wanting to play and lick their hands after they eat. sleeping in front of their crib. but no matter how she is with the boys, one thing is for sure...she'll always be our girl.

graduation

j and i took a fantastic childbirth class with my old neighbor and friend, marcela. marcela is a doula, massage therapist, childbirth educator and overall wonderful person. we loved it! we learned about the technical aspects of labor and birth, creatively tapped into our strengths and fears, and generally had great conversation about the process of childbirth. needless to say, we learned a lot. there were several exercises where we were asked to draw our perceptions and reactions to different situations. j invariably drew pictures of me in labor with our babies coming out of me catapulted in the air towards him or the doctors. hmmm....

here is our graduating class, minus two couples (one couple is also having twins and is further along then us and couldn't make it; the other couple had their baby early, only after two classes). we loved sharing this experience with everyone and can't wait to see them again at our reunion with all our babies!

little things

i realize there are so many little things i want to capture about this experience and haven't. like how j talks to the boys. it's the funniest thing. he goes into this deep darth vadar form of speech and always starts out with, "hello boys...this is your father talking...can you hear me...i love you" (or whatever it is he wants to tell them). it never fails. i wonder if our boys will have some sort of revelation when they see star wars for the first time and think that darth vadar is really their father!

tumblers

feeling babies move in utero is truly one of the mircale experiences of being pregnant. and i feel blessed that the boys give me plenty of opportunities to feel them throughout every day. in fact, my hands are on my belly so much that j recently asked me if i thought i would habitually keep touching my belly after the boys are born!

baby a has pretty much stayed in the same position (head down), but he wiggles and thrusts his arms and legs about constantly. he does handstand pushups against my bladder and flutter kicks his legs like he's swimming which i feel higher up. i often wonder what it must be like for him to be upside down all the time and if he's going to miss this position when he's born!

baby b makes more wholesale movements and completely somersaults his body around. he's usually butt down, but last weekend during a movie i felt some major tumbling going on and suddenly realized he had flipped his position to be head down. the extra space in my upper belly was fantastic! a few days later he flipped back (bummer). i have a feeling that won't be the last of it.

both boys also have times during the day where they make really smooth movements with their arms and legs, like they're cat stretching or doing an arabesque. i'll feel a gentle push and when my hand reaches it, i feel a distinct body part, like a heel, knee or elbow, through my belly. we also play tag at least once a day where i tap on my belly and they tap back. we can usually go back and forth for about a minute!

they both have definite periods of activity throughout the day and always respond to food (about 30 minutes after i eat they start at it), sweets/sugar, and movies. going to the theater is quite an experience - i think it's just so loud and gets them all excited. i don't feel them so much at night, but that may be just me being such a sound sleeper (i know, take advantage of it now!). they start rustling in the morning about the time that jordan wakes up at 6am - i think they miss their dad sleeping next to them.

my left foot

no, we didn't just watch the daniel day lewis flick...it just perfectly sums up my tribulations of late. about a week ago i got this shooting pain in the middle of my heel, which i would learn is plantar faciatus (sp?). it's basically the ligament that runs under your foot and mine is a wee bit upset at me lately. sudden weight gain (i.e. pregnancy = me) can bring it on, as well as lots of activity (running, etc. = not me). i don't think the recent flats i bought with no heel or arch support helped. it's getting better with stretching, yoga and general rest, though.

the trials of my left foot don't stop there, however. a few days ago i opened up the fridge to find a beer flying off the side door and bursting into a thousand pieces in front of me. oh, the irony of not being able to indulge in a beer for the past 7 months and then having to smell the bock for the next 20 minutes while i clean it up! well, i must not have cleaned it up good enough because later than day i managed to step on an ever-so-tiny piece of glass. j couldn't find the glass in my foot, but i knew one had to be in there when i woke up the next morning and couldn't bear any weight. so with a sliver of glass wedged into the ball of my foot and my heel killing me, let's just say i was pretty ineffective! i got it out and all is better now. my left foot is either a short-term curse or it's god's way of distracting me from other things - she's a smart one, after all!

live action!

i finally figured out how to post a video to the blog! here is a clip from our 20 week ultrasound where baby a was dancing on baby b's head. the thin membrane that you see baby a pushing off from is what separates the two boys.

a good place at 22+ weeks

we are finally all settled in with our doctors. we had our first appointment with our new ob - get this, dr. love - and we love him! he has a great, laid back demeanor, and spent tons of time with us making sure all our questions were answered. we also got a quick peek at the boys and they were both head down, one directly on my bladder (which i could definitely feel).

today we also visited our new perinatologist and are enrolled in their special "twins program." we got a full sonogram and again the boys look fabulous. they are 1lb 3oz and 1lb 4oz and still measuring about 1 week ahead. i'm measuring at 27 weeks. here i am!

it seems that everytime i go in for a sonogram, i've just eaten and the boys are wiggly-worms after getting some food energy. it's so amazing seeing them moving around, though! today, baby b had moved into breech position but baby a was still head down. even though it doesn't seem like it, they've got lots of room to move and flip about. it won't be until 32-34 weeks until they run out of room and their positions will be more or less set.

on the whole, i feel really good! i have pretty bad sacroilliac (back) pain, but that's about it. i'm doing prenatal yoga and walking. the yoga feels terrific. we also have been taking a childbirth class and have met some really great couples. we watched a birth last night of a midwife in mexico. during labor she went into this trace-like state and looked totally possessed. it was a little unsettling thinking i might look like that, and at one point i looked at up at jordan and asked him if he was going to be able to handle seeing me in labor. it was REALLY intense!

it's actually really fun being pregnant and i absolutely love feeling the boys move around. i feel them all throughout every day now, especially after i eat. and they either love or hate mexican food, because they go crazy when i eat it! i had a great experience last weekend at yoga with the boys. it was the end of class and we were in shavasana. the boys hadn't moved the whole class, but i put a hand over each of them as i was relaxing and sent them a bunch of love. at the same exact time, they both kicked into in my hand. it was absolutely amazing and affirmed that i have these beautiful people growing inside of me and that they know how much i love them.

20 weeks

i'm sitting here updating the blog on my new birthing ball (aka stability ball). jordan picked the ball up for me this weekend and i love it! it takes the pressure off my back and keeps my pelvis nice and balanced, plus i can do stretches with it and use it during labor. he's such a thoughtful hubby.

i've hit 20 weeks and feel great. my belly is big! here i am (i spared you all the skin this time):



as far as the ob saga, i have good news. we went on a fantastic dr. interview this afternoon. it was like night and day compared to our other ob. he doesn't require an epidural at all and didn't try and use scare tactics to encourage one. he was very pro-natural birth and gave us lots of different options and alternatives to having a full-on epidural, like a no-or-low dose version, should we choose. he also was very accomodating with labor and birthing positions and said however i was most comfortable, given that they could still monitor the babies effectively. he also had lots of great stories of mothers who birthed twins w/o interventions in the labor and delivery room. he said that as long as baby a was vertex (head down), we didn't have to deliver in the OR. It was VERY reassuring to meet with a doctor who was on our same page!

we had a fantastic ultrasound last thursday and the boys are perfectly healthy. they are growing fabulous - both at the same rate and right at 20 weeks. the ultrasound lasted almost an hour and they had a big screen that everything was projected onto, so we got to see the boys up close and personal. they were both super squirmy, but baby a definitely won the crazy award this time and at one point he was kicking his brother in the head! we were assured that this would not hurt the baby though. they videotaped the whole thing, so we'll try and figure out a way to get some footage onto the blog.

here's boy b's face:

and here's boy a's profile:


right after the doctor appointment we picked up our dear friends dana and mark from chicago and their gorgeous baby boy jake. we had the best weekend with them (see our regular blog for all the deets)! dana and i went to babies-r-us (scary!) and she basically walked me through the entire store and we did my registry. i had no idea what 75% of the items were for! she was truly a godsend and i learned so much about why different features of various products are important. it was also so wonderful having jake in our house. it really helps me to be with babies and kiddos right now - keeps my eyes on the prize!

we also made a very important decision this weekend - we're doing the boys nursery in a snoopy theme! we can't wait to get started.

poppage

i officially no longer have an inny belly button. it's kind of like i have no belly button anymore. well, there's a little part of it that sticks out like an outy, but the rest of it is just flat. it's the strangest thing to run my finger over it and realize that it no longer indents in! i wonder if it will really pop out like i'm a cooked turkey? i wonder if after i shrink down to normal size, if my belly button also reverts?

j noticed my lack of belly button last night, which makes perfect sense to me, because this past week we've witnessed yet another growth spurt (i know i need to stop saying things like "another growth spurt" - silly me). my belly is really getting big! we have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist, a perinatologist, who will be performing a comprehensive ultrasound on the boys. dr. barry will measure the munchkins and look at every organ, nook and cranny to make sure all is well. apparantly the office has a killer ultrasound machine with a big screen that the images are projected onto. so cool!

we are also on the hunt for a new OB. we really do like our current OB, but we're not all on the same page when it comes to birthing philosophies. she requires an epidural and i don't like that one bit. when it comes to twins there are all sorts of challenges and potentially complicating factors. i understand all that. we have about a coin-toss chance of having a vaginal vs. a c-section birth, and in the case of a vaginal birth, i'd like the option of not having an epidural. now that's not to say that i won't get to labor and decide that an epidural is the greatest idea since sliced bread; it's the notion that i wouldn't even be able to decide with our current doctor. for those of you who would like to know, if my pregnancy progresses well, and if the presenting baby is positioned head down, we can go for a vaginal birth. but if baby a is breech or sideways, we'll have to schedule a c-section. it's that simple. i have faith in myself and our babies, and if possible, i'd like as intervention-free of a birth as possible.

i promise i'll post some pictures of our progress in the next few days. i'm holding out for some killer baby pictures tomorrow. also, i had j take some belly shots of me last night and they were hideous! i don't know if i really do look that huge or if it was just a really bad angle. anyways, we'll do another photoshoot maybe tonight and see how they come out. there will be no fugly pictures of me on this blog, no matter how enormous i get!

look ma, no stretch marks! (yet)

we're rounding the 18 week bend and doing great! we had another dr appointment last thursday and the boys are terrific. they are growing like weeds and as a result, so is my belly. it's the craziest thing to see dramatic changes in a matter of days. and i can also feel the sensation of my belly stretching. but i've been religious with slathering on my concoction of super-concetrated vitamin E lotion and cocoa butter, and so far, no stretch marks!


sometimes when i look in the mirror, i really am taken aback by what is happening with my body. imagine waking up one morning and looking like you swallowed a bowling ball! it all just happens so fast and it's truly a miracle what our bodies are capable of - let alone what is actually happening inside! it has been a serious lesson for me, however, to let go of things that i have no control over, as well as to respect the limits of my body now. i'm used to pushing myself physically, whether exercising or just always being on the go. that's not an option anymore, and it has been an amazing lesson to learn! to give you some perspective on my growth, two weeks ago i was measuring at 19 weeks (really at 15 weeks). now i'm measuring at 24 weeks (really at 17.5 weeks). here's me on my birthday (9/20) - i'm 32 now!


one of the more important points of having twins is to gain lots of weight early on in the pregnancy. this has been proven to prevent preterm labor, premature birth and low birth weight. they say if you're normal size, you should gain 20 - 25 pounds by week 20 (gasp!). i really didn't think it was possible for me, especially since i'm really not piling in the calories. well, i'm happy to report that i've officially met my goal of 20 pounds! don't ask me how i did it...

j and i love going to doctor appointments because it means we get to see the boys. i was shocked to see how big they were! we could see everything - their fingers and toes, their well-developed spines, and of course, their sweet skeletor faces! baby a is facing head down on the left side of my belly and he was showing off with upside-down 360s with his one arm behind his head (total diver-style!). baby b is laying horizontal above baby a, which explains why i've felt like there is someone laying on my lungs. he was using my uterus as a trampoline and bouncing up and down. here's his foot planting, about to spring off:



and just in case y'all need a little help getting in the halloween mood, here is baby a's face (the pirate eye patch you see on his top eye is actually the lens of his eye!):



our next appointment is in two weeks for our 20 week anatomy(s) scan. they'll look at all their organs and make sure everything looks the way it should. after that, i'll also start seeing a perinatalogist who specializes in multiples. i feel very taken care of!

birthday action

happy birthday j! my wonderful hubby is 32 today. we met right before we both turned 28 and i remember making him a batch of chocolate chip cookies for his birthday care package and burning my wrist on the oven. i still have the scar - now that's true love! i can't believe where those 4 years have gone. well, actually i can. it consists of a delightful whirlwind of moving across the country, getting engaged, married, moving across the country again, renovating a house, moving into a new house, and now having two babies. i know time moves a lot faster when you get older, but when i look back it seems like warp speed. like a whole lifetime squinched into a few years, but in a very good, satisfying way. and now with these two baby boys, i can't wait for our next life to begin!

speaking of the boys...they gave j the best birthday present by letting us feel them move today! over the past week i've thought i felt them move in the middle of the night, but it was hard to tell given my barely conscious state. but today it is definite and indescribably amazing. i first felt them at lunch (they must like tacos), sitting on the gallery porch with anne. by the way, it's a perfect day, clear and sunny and in the mid 80s with a glorious breeze. we are just sitting, talking, laughing and enjoying when all of a sudden i feel a flutter. almost like a gurgle, like when you eat something that isn't quite working for you, except this gurgle is completely harmless and on the right side of my projecting belly. and since lunch i've been feeling it more and more. i think it's just one baby, because it's definitely in one spot. and either he is wiggling his little butt all over the place, or he's flutter kicking his legs like he's swimming.

it's pretty wild to be sitting in my office with no one else, and realize that i am not alone.

gender spoiler alert warning!

we were cautiously optimistic we might find out the babies' genders at our appointment yesterday. while still being a little early (just over 15 weeks now), we heard with a good ultrasound and the babies in the right position...bingo! well, we got our bingo and the prize is two baby boys!

i think it's some strange right of passage for parents to publicize pics of their naked children (for proper embarassment, of course). this can be categorized as an "up shot of the bunz" with two chub legs on either side of the evidence. doesn't get much better than this:


it's really fun being able to rub my tum and say "how ya' doing boys?" it feels that much more real now! most of you know that i truly thought they would be a boy and girl. after the initial shock, i'm now totally loving the idea of our two lil' guys. hopefully it will mean less maintenance (no pig tails, dresses, etc.), less drama and more rough housing. i even have this vision of the two of them climbing on top of matilda and riding her around like a horse...definitely a texas-themed holiday picture in our future with cowboy hats and all! for now, they still look like skeletor:


so the boys are doing great. they did extensive measurements of just about everything (head, belly, femur, etc.) and both are growing the same and fast - 16 weeks and 2 days. boy b was in true form, flipping around and diving when the tech would try and get a measurement. boy a was pretty chill, wiggling his arms and legs but generally staying in one place. i wonder if these are their personalities developing already, or if boy a is a tumbler too, just not when we peek in on him. i'm really trying not to make assumptions based on what we see of them at ultrasounds - i'd hate to unduly influence one boy into being a nutball and the other to be passive! anyways, here's the one good shot the tech could get of our nutball:


i'm doing really well, too! the past month has been characterized by some good days interspersed with some pretty bad days. the bad days have just been extreme fatigue, no appetite, achey belly and back - just crumby feeling. but i think that i've turned a corner this week. i can feel that i have more energy during the day and my appetite is even coming back -even some meat is doable! maybe i've entered the fabled second trimester bliss? keep your fingers crossed!

the doc can now measure what's called my "fundal height," which is how big my uterus is getting. at a little over 15 weeks, i'm measuring at what someone with with a singleton would be at 19 weeks. this is reassuring to me, as the books say someone with twins typically measures 6-8 weeks ahead of schedule (yup, i had my second anxiety attack of the pregnancy after reading that one). so i feel like i'm growing in proportion to my size, but i'll probably laugh at myself for writing that when i'm 30 weeks along! here's a pretty dorky picture of me, my belly and a blurry mati:


sorry for the never ending post. i promise to update more often from now on!

sympathy

jordan here... so, good news to report, my belly is not growing! i've been reading this great book called 'the expectant father' and it has been incredibly helpful. there is this thing called couvade symptoms which explains my sleepiness, food cravings and splitting headaches. apparently it effects 90% of men during pregnancy so atleast i know now that i'm not losing it. watching tracey go through all these changes is really cool, but at the sametime i feel helpless at times when she's tired, feeling sick, etc. she is truly the most amazing person in my eyes and i can't believe that we have two babies inside her belly. she is going to be the absolute best mother in the world (no offense mama, no offense mama-alina). i am so excited and can hardly contain myself. but i am also scared and i pray everday for her health and our babies' health. this is such an incedible experience and i can't wait to meet the little ones.

13 going on...

i think the babies went through a growth spurt this week. i was VERY tired, kinda nauseus and all of a sudden my belly really popped. it still feels like i have a beer belly, but i think that's just because i'm not used to it yet. jordan is in love with my belly and thinks it's the coolest thing ever. here's me and our beloved matilda acting like the perfect pointer (as if you'd need it):

new visitors

we finally made it to the 12 week mark, which is a significant benchmark for many reasons. 1) in many circles it marks the end of the first trimester, which means the babies have passed their most critical development stage (now it's just a matter of growing like a weed!); 2) most problems happen in the first trimester, so if you make it past, you're likely in good shape; and 3) we set the 12 week mark as our date to tell the world - SO WORLD, WE ARE HAVING TWINS!

gosh it felt good to say that! you can't imagine how hard it has been keeping this a secret for the past two months. for those of you who are wondering how the heck we are having twins, your guess is as good as ours. it doesn't run in either of our families and we didn't do anything special (i.e. fertility stuff)...it just happened spontaneously. the doc is positive they are fraternal, which is actually a good thing for minizing prenatal complications. and honestly, as cute as identical twins are, they kinda freak me out a little.

so we had our 12 week appointment yesterday and it was an amazing experience. we heard both heartbeats - one was going at 155 and the other at 161, which is great. then we saw the babes on the ultrasound and baby a was wiggling around like crazy and kicking her legs. we even saw her little feet and toes! we could see baby b in profile and he was sucking his thumb - so unbelievable! we could even see the tiny bones in his hand and fingers. baby b is measuring perfect - right at 12 weeks, 5 days. the doc couldn't measure baby a 'cause she was squirming around so much, but thought she looked to be the same size. they are around 2.5 inches, which seems so small and so big to me at the same time. over the next three weeks, they head into their biggest growth spurt yet where they'll at least double their size.

here is a pic of baby a looking down at her. you can see her face on the bottom right side (she kinda looks like skeletor!).


















and here is baby b in profile sucking his thumb.














we go back in three weeks for another ultrasound and they will use a more advanced machine to measure the babes. yay!